Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
