i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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