me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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