the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
