Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just invented taco cereal.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
