4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize