saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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