i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
