Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
