Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Someone signed my nipple.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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