playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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