so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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