Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize