I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Of course I have a pirate flag
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
