All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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