someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
