we have officially lost it.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
