how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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