Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
