He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I yelled at your uterus for you.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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