That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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