you guys were way drunker than both of me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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