There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
