Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
