get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
