last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
