I bet he comes in French.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We're too hungover to prance.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
