he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
