I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
