Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize