just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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