She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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