this beer tastes like vomit already
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize