that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
