It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
