I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Randomize