I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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