What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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