Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
