She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
