thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
