I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
