I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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