I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
