I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize