she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
