Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
