he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
