last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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