If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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