Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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