It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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