there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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