I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
