Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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