Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
