She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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