I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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