Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dick very happy bro
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize