idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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