My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
